“Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts.”
Winston Churchill
Individual Therapy
Counselling can become the bridge from pain and distress to healing; from isolation and self-doubt to confidence and self-assertion; from a sense of loss and aloneness to feelings of hope and connection.
Reaching out to a psychotherapist and receiving support can help break down the barriers and limiting beliefs that stunt our growth and stifle creativity. Counselling can be the magic key that dissolves negativity and obstacles, and unlocks potential. It clears the path and illuminates the way to fresh perspectives, new choices and infinite possibilities.
Talking about your concerns with a specialist counsellor, deepens understanding, promotes awareness, fosters acceptance and activates consideration and appreciation. It can lead to profound insight and positive change. It enhances interpersonal skills and communication and betters relationships. It stimulates creativity and helps in the construction of a meaningful and rewarding life.
Albert Einstein said ”we cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” Counselling helps us find alternative ways to reduce the negativity in our mind, so we can approach others and respond to challenges in a more optimistic and effective way. We begin to see things in a different light and from a different point of view, and this enables constructive change and growth in all aspects of life.
Counselling is a precious and loving gift. It is an investment that enriches yourself and the lives of the people you love; it can never fail, but only pay back.
Couples Therapy
Couples therapy holds a space that facilitates communication between partners. This exchange between the two, generates the chance to improve awareness within a relationship, often focussing on issues around giving, receiving and closeness. Each partner is facilitated to describe and reflect on their experiences, and thus develop a deeper understanding of themselves, the other and the way they both relate and respond to each other.
Developing and fostering empathy
Realising that a couple is not two individuals living a practical arrangement but a lively and interactive joint system, is the first step in fostering togetherness and compassion. With this awareness each partner can become more considerate, develop empathy for the other and embrace diversity. Differences become opportunities for unique and creative solutions; the couple learn ways to avoid destructive arguing, and instead engage in constructively working through conflict.
Importantly, when a couple learns to ask for help and support the relationship often becomes a safe haven, where each can express their wishes, and feel heard and understood. This promotes intimacy, connection, respect, trust and security where needs are met and the couple matures and grows.
“The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. It’s our fear of the dark that casts our joy into the shadows. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
The individual as a part of the couple
The therapeutic process involved in couples therapy also enables each partner on the one hand to talk about themselves as a unique human being, and on the other to observe and examine their individual behaviour and responses as part of the couple. They can explore attitudes, expectations and beliefs, and identify strengths and weaknesses.
Through this course each partner instead of attributing any negative parts to the other partner - and expecting them to make changes - becomes empowered and motivated to take responsibility for the relationship. This awakening fosters compassion and the ability to “stand in the other’s shoes”. It is a shift; from blaming the other to realising that we co-create our reality and all have to be responsible for making constructive change.
Relived experiences in the relationship
Childhood trauma, fear, painful feelings and repressed or forgotten experiences are sometimes re-enacted as part of a relationship. Despite feeling as if they are motivated by and determine behaviour in the present, they belong to the past. It is vital for each partner to recognise this and work towards understanding that these responses do not belong to the here and now. This knowledge alone can take a heavy load off the shoulders of a relationship, and help clear misunderstandings that create tension in a couple’s everyday life.
Therapy also provides a space where we can gain insight into how we approach mounting tensions (crises, on-going arguments or disputes) and how we deal with conflict and other challenges that life brings. We learn how to work through those challenges and exist together in a healthier and more functional way. We discover how to resolve disagreements and arguments, we see our mistakes as lessons and acquire wisdom from failure.
“Yet it is only love which sets us free.”
If you believe you could benefit from counselling or relationship therapy, or if you would like to find out more about the services I offer, please get in touch using my secure online form. All contact is treated in the strictest confidence.
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